Yesterday I saw a van that said, "Rico Beans: Beans are our Beansness." Dumb, dumb, dumb. But I can still remember it, and probably will for awhile, and in a pinch if I suddenly needed some catered refried beans, I would probably phone Rico. Why is my brain so kind to inane advertisements? I hate it when someone comes up with a really clever commercial, then I tell someone about it, and they ask what they were selling, and I can't recall, then the smart aleck says, "Well, I guess that commercial wasn't that good, then, was it?" That person then loses points for being a know-it-all spoilsport, but they win the conversation because darnit, they're right. I wish I could reward good advertising with good product recall, and punish lazy advertisers by forever banishing their product and company name and slogan from my simple brain, but it's the exact opposite. I can replay Billy Mays' "Awesome Auger" infomercial (with the Weed Aug and Ground Aug) perfectly in my brain, and all Billy had to do was yell himself hoarse for four minutes. No jingles or jokes. I guess I should clarify my point by excluding the heavies like Geico and Bud Light, because everyone remembers those. I'm talking about the minor leaguers like the Video Professor and FinallyFast.com (Hey, my computer is fast! Finally! Finally Fast! FinallyFast.com!). I don't think these guys are big enough jerks to actually believe they've produced a quality advertisement. No, they're having their Oxi-Clean and using it to remove stains, too. A dumb ad helps their bottom line first because it's cheap, then once again because it's so naggingly memorable.Sidenote: Will Billy Mays be remembered as our generation's Edison?
